Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Part II Chapter III, first draft (incomplete)

So far it had seemed that he was indeed getting what he wished for; For the most part at least. He had gone through meeting relatives he rarely saw – many of which annoyed him quite a bit. He noticed the way they were treating his aunt Judy oddly. Almost as if she was cursed by the old man’s passing. From what David had learn via somewhat listening to conversations people took for granted he wasn’t paying attention to, his grandfather had just come to visit his daughter, Judy three days before his death. She said she did not notice anything strange about him, he was just his usual self. However, she did say that there was an almost tranquil tone to his voice when he spoke. And that he would look at her for a while, only issue was that he was more looking through her than at her. A day before the old man’s death David’s grandmother had made it to see him. Judy had said they spent a lot of time together, almost as if they were saying their last goodbyes. But the way things had happened was that it was Judy who came across his dead body first, not his wife. And because of that, the others now somehow thought that she was contaminated by such a discovery.

David came back from his own little world to find that just about an hour and a half had past. The s
The old man himself was quite something during his venture alive. It was well known that he liked to travel all over the world. It was amazing – he could never stay in one place for long, but he always came back home, no matter what. Every since his death, David heard more and more about the man he called ‘grandfather’.

He never let his pride get the best of him. Even as a child, he had wisdom beyond his years. And that wisdom only got larger as he grew older…

All of these and more were a part of the numerous anecdotes that had been floating around family and friends. David’s own mother though, had been the source of what David thought to be the most interesting story of all. She had picked on her son’s vague display of emotion and decided to have a few words with him, right before

1 comment:

lunarfeather said...

hi ryan,

since you gave me advice and comments, i think it only fair that i look at your blog and see what i can help you with. the story becomes more fascinating the more i read... the part where david left his body caught me by surprise. hmm, you're not exactly done yet and i think it's fine so far. i wonder what the threads are and how/if it connects to david leaving his body. what part of him left his body? is it the soul (but again, how is soul defined?). how does the death of the grandfather play in? is it similar to the glasses of they live in that david is starting to see the world in a different persepective where the space/world is dominated by threads of something (bonds, soul and body...) ...and you sort of mentioned consciousness which was interesting. the subconscious makes up the bottom of the iceberg, and based on the little i know of hero's journey the hero really journies inward into his/her subconsciousness. and it is interesting how you added the aspect of death into the story since the hero's journey/revelation trope can at times deal with death. death is sometimes symbolic of something, in hero's journey, the death of the infantile psyche to come out as an independent being.. like rebirth, initiation. it can also serve as sacrifice...

time to stop ranting. thanks for the advice.